Healing is Everything
A weekly podcast with a message to heal the mind, body, and spirit. Life can be hard, but it's how we walk through it and overcome adversity that matters. We need to heal from the past and be grounded in the present in order to manifest our desired future. Walk this journey with me and I will give you insights, tools, and daily affirmations to heal your body, mind and soul to become the best version of yourself today and every day thereafter. If you would like to support the show and help me advertise this podcast to a greater audience please go to this link: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2102450/supporters/new Thank you for your support.
Healing is Everything
Ep33—The Unseen Power of Friendship in Love
Love has many facets, but at its core, isn't it simply friendship set on fire? Prepare for a heartening exploration of the role friendship plays in our romantic relationships. Join me, your host Paul Hawthorne, on a journey that takes us beyond the initial spark of attraction, into the comforting realm of enduring friendship that sustains our most intimate connections. Together, we'll uncover the true essence of love and how the foundations of friendship can transform fleeting romance into lifelong bonds.
We start by questioning the importance of friendship in our relationships, and the answer might surprise you. Not merely a bonus, it is the heartbeat, the anchor, and the compassionate dance that carries us through life's highs and lows. Through fascinating insights from research studies, we reveal the undeniable role friendship has in reducing divorce rates, fostering resilience, and enhancing our emotional well-being. We also provide practical strategies to nurture the precious gift of friendship within your love life. We celebrate love in its purest form, showcasing the profound beauty that arises when two souls find a home in each other, not just as lovers, but as best friends. So, tune in and let's embark on this beautiful dance together, celebrating the union of friendship and love.
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Hello and welcome to the Healing Is Everything podcast. I am your host, paul Hawthorne. Before I begin this episode, I want to thank my listeners that have provided me with some very valuable feedback on the podcast and some changes that they would like to see. First off, I want to apologize to all my listeners for the poor sound quality. I started this podcast in December as a personal journey to help heal a world in a time where I really felt this world needed healing and a message. I've been recording the episodes by using a wireless coarsier headset and a Reaper editing software. I'm in the process of purchasing a much better mic and condenser to improve the quality of the recordings. I just want to let you know that I'm committed to continue to spread my message and I'm committed to just make it better. As you know, I've been recording one episode each week which I'm really proud of been really consistent, which I preach all the time. Consistency is key. This will be my last recording on the coarsier mic and hopefully for the next episode, the quality will be much better once I do that. Now I want to specifically thank my nephew, tristan, who is going to be assisting me in purchasing a better setup. He went to school for sound engineering, so I'm just like super happy that he's able to help out. Just a big shout out to him. Lastly, I just want to thank also a few of my friends that pointed out that some of them don't actually like the music in the background because it distracts them from what I'm actually saying. I know some listeners enjoy the background music and so, as a compromise, I will do some with the background music and then some without.
Speaker 1:Let's get into today's episode, which I'm really excited about. I'm calling this episode the friendship factor building and sustaining companionship in intimate relationships. Now, I've done a few episodes on relationships and they've gone really, really well, I think. Actually, they're one of my hottest or most listened to episodes. I'm just going to continue to continue to share some insights on relationships. Then I'm going to start by talking about the heartfelt exploration that lies at the core of love's most enduring embrace, the importance of friendship in our intimate partnerships.
Speaker 1:I want you to imagine, if you will, the flutter of new love, the excitement, the attraction, the fire that seems to consume us during this time. It's beautiful, isn't it? And it's intoxicating. But as time passes, what sustains that love? What keeps it alive? What keeps it vibrant and deeply connected? The answer, though simple, holds a profound truth it's the gentle, reassuring touch of friendship. Now, as a person who was married for 15 years and in that relationship for 17, I can honestly say that the one thing that sustained the relationship for that long period of time was our friendship. It was the one thing during the most difficult of times that held us together. It was an understanding that, although much of the intimacy was gone which was really unfortunate we could still hang out, we could still laugh, watch movies together, and we respected the fact that our love was more than the fantasy of those initial intoxicating moments when we first got together.
Speaker 1:I believe in a world where we seek instant connections by swiping left or right for a match on the dating apps and often confused the fleeting with the everlasting, it's time to rediscover the timeless wisdom of friendship within our romantic bonds. The laughter shared over a silly inside joke, the trust that allows vulnerability, the shared dreams and values and the comfortable silence that speaks volumes these are the threads that weave the fabric of love that not only endures but thrives. So in this episode, I'm excited to uncover why friendship in an intimate partner relationship or marriage isn't merely a bonus. It's the heartbeat, the anchor, the compassionate dance that carries us through life's storms and joys, whether you're searching for love, newly in love or celebrating decades with your partner. This episode promises insights and inspirations that could change the way you view and nurture your most cherished relationship. So, listeners, grab a cup of your favorite beverage, settle in and let's explore together the art of building and sustaining companionship and love. Let's celebrate the friend in our partner and the partner in our friends. Let's discover why friendship, often unassuming and humble, is the unsung hero of enduring love.
Speaker 1:As we journey into the heart of our relationships, we encounter a crossroad where two paths converge the path of friendship and the path of romance. Though they may seem distinct, these two paths are intertwined in a dance that's as ancient as love itself. Imagine for a moment the exhilarating thrill of romance, the spark that ignites our hearts and fills us with a longing like no other. It's a feeling we chase, we celebrate and we often mistake that the be all and end all of love. But what if I told you that this spark is just the beginning? Enter the world of friendship, a world where the walls come down, where pretense fades and where we stand soul to soul with another human being. It's in the gentle, knowing smiles that share dreams, that comfort and embrace during sorrow, and the cheering on in triumph.
Speaker 1:Friendship doesn't just compliment romance, it breathes life into it. In the partnership of two loving hearts, friendship acts as the steady hand that guides us. It's the warm laughter that softens life's edges, the shared values that anchor us and the mutual respect that elevates us. It's the invisible thread that turns two lives into a shared journey. But how do we cultivate this friendship within our romantic relationships? How do we ensure that it's not overshadowed by the dazzling but fleeting flames of passion? Together, I'm going to explore with you the art of weaving friendship into the very core of our intimate bonds. We'll discover why it's not just an addition to love, but the foundation. Now I'm excited to share with you the secret that makes love last, that turns in factuation into understanding, attraction into connection and passion into compassion. Let's explore the interaction or intersection of friendship and romance and let's celebrate the beauty that arises when two souls find a home in each other, not just as lovers, but as the best of friends.
Speaker 1:Here are four qualities of friendship in a relationship. Okay, the number one quality of a friendship, in a relationship is trust. At the core of any friendship is trust. In the context of romance, it becomes the bedrock. Trust is the soil we spoke of earlier, where the seeds of love find nourishment. It's the knowing glances, the unspoken promises and the courage to be oneself. Trust is where love finds its wings and where fear loses its grip.
Speaker 1:Okay, number two empathy. It's this feel with me, not for me. That's the call of empathy, the gentle art of stepping into another shoes. In love, empathy weaves a connection that goes beyond mere understanding. It's a shared experience, a soul-to-soul connection. It's the heart's way of saying I see you, I feel you and I'm here with you. Number three shared interests. Shared interests in a romantic relationship are like favorite songs in a playlist. They set the rhythm of life. It's in the hobbies, the dreams, the simple joys of watching a favorite movie together. Shared interests keep the connection vibrant and alive, like melodies that turn ordinary moments into cherished memories.
Speaker 1:Number four mutual respect. Respect is the silent symphony that harmonizes the dance of love. It's the acknowledgement of each other's worth, the celebration of differences and the understanding that every individual is unique. Mutual respect is not a mercuritacy. It's a way of loving, a way of honoring the divine in one another. Now, as we explore these qualities, we uncover a truth that transcends the ordinary. We discover that the essence of friendship within romance is not a mere combination of qualities. It's a state of being, a way of relating that turns an ordinary connection into an extraordinary bond. As we move forward, embracing these essential qualities that I just shared, we find ourselves not merely walking the path of love, but dancing in it. We discover that the partnership in love is not just a connection between two hearts, but a union of the two souls celebrating life as friends, as confidants and as internal eternal sorry companions. So how do we cultivate this precious friendship within our intimate relationships? Well, here are eight ways. Some of the experts say that are practical strategies and exercises to guide you on this beautiful journey.
Speaker 1:So, number one spending quality time. If you haven't read the five languages of love, this is one of them. Plan regular date nights or friendship days where you do something special together. It doesn't have to be extravagant. The focus is on the quality, not quantity. So, for example, cooking a meal together, watching the sunset, or even a long walk or a bike ride can foster deeper connection. Number two nurturing common hobbies. Find activities you both enjoy and pursue them together, whether it's dancing, painting, hiking or playing a sport. Shared hobbies become shared memories. I love this idea, they say, to create a hobby bucket list and start exploring.
Speaker 1:Number three open communication. Practice heart-to-heart talks where you openly share your feelings, thoughts, dreams and fears, creating a safe space free from judgment, where honesty reigns. It's not just about talking, it's about listening. That's a message there for us men out there. Sometimes we've been called out for not listening, so that's what this open communication is all about.
Speaker 1:Number four appreciation and affirmation. Affirmation is another one of those love languages. I love this idea as well. Start a compliment jar where you both write compliments or appreciative notes for each other and read them at the end of the week. Acknowledgement fuels connection.
Speaker 1:Number five growing together. Set joint goals and work towards them, whether it's fitness like you know how much I love fitness financial goals or personal growth goals, working together fosters teamwork and shared victory. Number six building trust through transparency. Play the truth game, they say, where you ask each other questions and answer with complete honesty. It's an engaging way to deepen trust and understanding in the relationship. Embracing imperfections. Share your insecurities and imperfections with each other. It's a vulnerable exercise, but it breaks down walls and builds a bridge of compassion and acceptance.
Speaker 1:Number 8. Encouraging individual growth. Encourage each other to pursue individual passions and celebrate each other's achievements. Supporting personal growth nurtures mutual growth. These strategies are not just exercises. They are invitations to a richer, deeper and more meaningful connection. They are not just techniques. They are pathways to the heart.
Speaker 1:But with friendship in our intimate partnerships, it doesn't come without its challenges and misconceptions. It's a journey that requires delicate navigation, understanding and wisdom. So let's delve into some of these challenges and misconceptions where I'm going to provide some insights for healthy navigation of them. Now here are four examples of misconceptions and four common challenges. I'm going to go back and forth to each one. So the number one misconception If we're friends, the passion will fade. Now, my insight into this is friendship does not extinguish passion. It fuels it. When trust and understanding are built, it opens doors to deeper intimacy and connection. Embrace friendship as a catalyst, not a barrier.
Speaker 1:Alright, the number one challenge for entreating between friendship and romantic love. Now, my insight into this is the lines between friendship and romance may blur at times. So acknowledge that friendship is part of love, but doesn't replace it. Finding balance means nurturing both aspects without losing sight of each other or either of those. Alright, the number two misconception my partner should be my everything. While friendship within the relationship is vital, expecting a partner to fulfill every friendship rule can lead to dissatisfaction. So cultivate friendships outside the relationship to maintain a healthy balance.
Speaker 1:Alright, the number two challenge is navigating conflicts as friends and lovers. So conflict resolution may require different approaches. As friends and lovers, learn to wear both hats and switch between them as needed. Understanding each role helps in managing conflicts more empathetically. Okay, so the I think we're on. The fourth misconception here now is being best friends means never fighting. So even the closest of friends have disagreements. Accepting that conflicts are natural and can lead to growth is key to thriving in friendship within romance.
Speaker 1:Alright, then the last challenge, the fourth challenge in relationships and friendships is overcoming society stereotypes. So my insight into this is societal beliefs and expectations about relationships may pressure couples. Being true to what works for your unique relationship rather than conforming to the stereotypes out there empowers the friendship within the romance. So navigating these challenges and misconceptions isn't about avoiding difficulties. It's about embracing them as opportunities for growth, learning and strengthening the bond. So as we explore these complexities, let's remember that friendship within romance is not a theoretical concept. It's a lived experience. It's the gentle touch during a storm, the knowing smile across a crowded room, the shared silence that speaks volumes. It's the courage to be vulnerable, the wisdom to be understanding and the grace to be forgiving. It's the art of loving unconditionally and growing unseasonally. It's really important that we acknowledge these challenges not as obstacles but as guides. Let's dispel these misconceptions, not with criticism but with compassion. Let's build our relationships not just on the sparks of romance but on the warmth of friendship.
Speaker 1:Now I just want to take a look at some of the science and research and what they're saying about friendship's role in long-term satisfaction and happiness, because there has been some done on this topic area. Now, the marriage between romance and friendship is a subject that's intrigued scholars and researchers for decades, and the findings are both enlightening and inspiring. So here are six research studies that highlight friendship's role in long-term satisfaction and happiness in intimate relationships. All right. Number one the Foundation of Satisfaction Studies. So Dr John Gottman led this research on married couples and identified friendship as the cornerstone of satisfaction and commitment. His findings reveal that couples who consider each other friends are more likely to enjoy a fulfilling and long-lasting relationship. The results of the study indicated that friendship fosters understanding, empathy and connection, leading to a deeper level of satisfaction within a romantic partnership.
Speaker 1:All right, the second study is friendship and sexual intimacy research. Now, studies have indicated that friendship positively correlates with sexual satisfaction in long-term relationships. The results of this research showed that the trust and openness that friendship brings can enhance sexual intimacy by creating a space where both partners feel safe and connected. All right, the third study which we're looking at, reducing divorce rates. So a survey was conducted by the National Bureau of Economic Research found that married couples who claim to be best friends are twice as satisfied with their lives and are less likely to contemplate divorce. Now, the results of this research found that the bond of friendship within marriage acts as a buffer against challenges, enhancing resilience and stability.
Speaker 1:All right, the number four piece of research that I found was one on how friendship enhances overall emotional well-being. So research shows that friendship in a romantic context has been linked to better mental health. Partners who are friends report higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress. Now, results of the study showed that the support system that friendship offers transcends the relationship, impacting overall emotional well-being positively. The fifth study that I'm going to share with you today was on resilience during tough times. Now, research has demonstrated that couples who maintain a friendship during adverse life events, such as illness or financial difficulties, experience less relationship strain. The findings of that study found that friendship is like an anchor during storms, providing support, compassion and solidarity.
Speaker 1:And the last kind of study I'll share with you today is one that was based on shared joy and growth. Now studies emphasize the importance of engaging shared activities and hobbies, which I shared with you earlier in the episode, a common feature of friendship for relationship growth. Now results indicated that mutual interest and shared experiences foster joy and personal growth within a relationship. So these studies are not mere numbers or abstract concepts. They are reflections of real life relationships. They are echoes of shared laughter, whispered secrets, tender touches and journeys walked hand in hand. They tell us that friendship within romance isn't a mere option. It's a necessity, a celebration, a path to a richer and more joyous love.
Speaker 1:Okay, so here is my summary and last insights of everything that I just spoke of and shared in this episode. Friendship in an intimate relationship is like the gentle glow of a candle that lights our path through the twists and turns of love. It's the laughter that fills the room, the understanding that nurtures the soul and the trust that binds two hearts into one. As you walk hand in hand with your intimate partner, remember, you're not just lovers, you're friends, and in that friendship you'll discover the essence of love's purest form, a love that grows, heals and inspires. So I say, go on and embrace the dance of friendship and love, like the shared dreams, the common goals and the little everyday joys, because in the world of love, friendship is not just an ingredient, it's the secret recipe. So I'm just going to say to you keep loving, keep growing and always, always keep cherishing the friend within your love.
Speaker 1:Well, everybody, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. I just want to remind you to please share this episode and the link to my podcast with your friends, family and loved ones and if you haven't done it yet, please take the time to download the episodes that you're watching and give it a rating and review. The more positive reviews that I get, the more people I can reach with my healing messages, and that just makes me super happy. So I'll leave you with this message, like I do for every episode. Be kind to yourself, believe in yourself and cherish your loved ones, sending you peace, healing and so much love. Bye for now.